Lifeless

I am 28 years old and i am working now as a *****, oh wait wow 28? Umur yg sepatutnya sudah mendirikan rumah tangga dan punya anak👨‍👨‍👦‍👦 i am working at age 25, yg mana pernah failed in uni life. Tapi lupakan lah. It's my past and semua org pernah failed in uni life. As a student. I am working at peninsular which is far away from family's 👪 (until now) and loved one💏(ex). My ex bawa saya bertunang, 1st before i got my job after finnished school and 2nd time lepas bekerja selama setahun. But you know what there's so many my alasan. Saya tidak nafikan yg saya juga inginkan kehidupan yg sempurna, husband?yg boleh give me everything what i want, tidak mengongkong kehidupan saya. Yes my family merestui kami even my mom, she liked him. A lot,but my father not even kami bercouple almost 10years(2009-2018) already. Oh sorry i got my job early 2017 which is i am 25y/o. Dia ok tapi sebab kami jauh LDR, banyak benda yg buat kami bergaduh and x ngam. Everytime otp pengakhiran mesti gaduh. Whats the point to move forward with him? He helped me a lot during my studies. Pick me up and sent me to hostel. Bring me to go out during weekend and spent money for me. He so kind! Sampai lah suatu masa my friend post my picture with somebody(guy) in Instagram. He asked me and i said just friend. Memang betul la just friend, lagi lupa dia baru posting di sini. Since from that kami semakin menjauh, in a week mungkin 2/3 kali saja berkontek. Lama-lama perasaan semakin pudar. Saya tidak nafikan walaupun hubungan kami macam tu, i still love him. I go to club drink with friend. Keluar jam9pm balik jam 6am. I changed a lot. Oh ya he never know pun yg saya minum, even with him pun saya tidak pernah sentuh alcohol. Sampai la 1 masa his cousin saw me in club, cousin dia tu siap panggil saya and bercakap dgn sy. Tapi masa tu saya dgn kwn2 yg mana salah seorang dripda mereka adalah my kwn(boyfriend to be la masa tu urghhh). Since from that kami semakin menjauh jarang sekali berhubung.

Early 2019 i couple with somebody(kawan minum) which is he working here juga la(peninsular). Betul la org cakap, masa mula2 bercinta semuanya indah, bau kentut pun akan jadi wangi💨💨 Dia also ok, saya yg selalu cari gaduh in our relationship. Betul kah lelaki ni lambat matang? Idk about this. But my boyfriend selalu menghabiskan masa dia utk lepak with friend and main game. Org cakap kalau kita sayang org tu, mau hidup dgn org tu kita kena terima keburukan dia kan? Tpi 1 keburukan dia yg sy x boleh terima until now. Dia minum ketum gais. Apa tu ketum? Dadah ka benda tu? Idk. I put myself 90% in our relationship. I told him everthing what i've done, where ever i go, what my next plan tapi dia x. He never told me anything. Kecuali makan main game pegi kerja and balik dari kerja. Macam teh o kosong,tiada rasa gula. Begitu la juga cerita kami, hanya cerita kosong. Priority dia adalah kawan dia and game dia😊 until now😊oh ya selama ni pun saya yg selalu call dia maybe sometime paksa untuk calling lama-lama. And sllu saja tiap kali i call him, dia cakap tengah main game. I asked him untuk datang merisik, mau tunang la katakan. Dia cakap yes tpi tiada apa-apa tindakan. Hanya di mulut. and now i just follow the flow. Apa pun yg jadi, saya tidak akan salahkan dia sebab saya yg meletakkan diri saya di tempat orang yg salah😊 saya bosan dengan relationship yg tiada penghujung. Bercouple dengan cerita kosong. Mungkin bagi dia, belum puas untuk menikmati masa-masa remaja dia. Yah cos dia baru 26. Muda 2 tahun dari saya😊 and now idc anymore. I am tired with this relationship😔☺️

Balik kepada cerita asal, sometimes my ex chat tanya kabar☺️. Idk pasal hidup dia sekarang., because saya tidak tanya lebih. Tapi apa pun yg dia buat i hope he found a girl which is bole bahagiakan dia☺️